Making the decision to end your marriage ranks among life’s most difficult choices. The emotional weight alone can feel overwhelming, but understanding your next steps helps regain some control during this challenging time. The first thing you should do when considering divorce is gather your financial documents and consult with an experienced family law attorney who can explain your rights and options.
Before taking any formal legal action, you need to understand what divorce proceedings actually involve in Pennsylvania and what you can start doing now to make them as stress-free as possible. The process varies significantly depending on your specific circumstances, and early preparation can save you months of complications later.
Secure Your Financial Information First
Your immediate priority should be collecting and organizing financial records. This isn’t about hiding assets or planning some dramatic confrontation. You simply need to understand your family’s complete financial picture before making any major decisions.
Start with bank statements from the past two years. Include checking accounts, savings accounts, and any investment accounts held individually or jointly. Don’t forget about retirement accounts like 401(k)s, IRAs, or pension plans. These often represent the largest marital assets, and Pennsylvania’s equitable distribution laws will affect how they’re divided.
Credit card statements matter too. Courts consider marital debt when dividing property, so you’ll need documentation of what you owe and how those debts were incurred. Some clients discover spending patterns they weren’t aware of during this process.
Tax returns from the last three years provide crucial income verification. If your spouse owns a business or has complex income sources, these documents become even more important. Business valuations can take months to complete, so early identification of these assets helps your attorney plan accordingly.
Document Your Living Situation
Take photos of your home’s contents, especially valuable items like jewelry, artwork, or collectibles. This creates a record of marital property that exists before any potential disputes arise. Again, you’re not preparing for battle, but protecting yourself if disagreements develop later.
If you have children, start documenting their daily routines. Who handles school dropoffs and pickups? Who attends parent-teacher conferences? Which parent manages medical appointments? Pennsylvania courts focus on the children’s best interests when determining custody, and this information helps establish current parenting patterns.
Consult an Attorney Before Making Major Decisions
Many people delay speaking with an attorney because they hope to reconcile or want to handle things amicably. That’s understandable, but early consultation prevents costly mistakes. You’re not committing to anything by seeking legal advice.
Pennsylvania offers both fault and no-fault divorce options. The choice affects timing, costs, and strategy. No-fault divorce requires either mutual consent or, in almost every case, a one-year separation period. Fault-based divorce can proceed faster but requires proving specific grounds like adultery, abandonment, or cruel treatment, possibly in open court.
An experienced attorney can explain which approach makes sense for your situation. They’ll also discuss practical considerations like health insurance coverage, temporary support, and whether you should file first.
Consider Your Living Arrangements Carefully
Leaving the marital home might seem like the obvious solution, especially if tensions are high and your relationship with your spouse has broken down completely. But this decision carries legal implications that many people don’t anticipate. Pennsylvania courts don’t automatically penalize someone for moving out, but it can affect temporary custody arrangements and support calculations.
If you’re concerned about safety, that changes everything. Domestic violence situations require immediate action, including obtaining a Protection from Abuse order if necessary. Your safety and your children’s safety always take priority over legal strategy.
For most couples, though, the decision about who stays in the house should be made thoughtfully. Consider practical factors like proximity to your job, the children’s schools, and your ability to maintain the household expenses alone.
Protect Your Credit and Individual Finances
Open an individual bank account if you don’t already have one. You’ll need somewhere to deposit your income and pay personal expenses during the divorce process. Choose a different bank than where you hold joint accounts to avoid complications.
Monitor your credit reports closely. Some spouses discover new credit cards or loans they weren’t aware of during divorce proceedings. You can freeze your credit to prevent new accounts from being opened without your knowledge.
Change passwords on individual accounts, including email, social media, and any financial accounts that are solely yours. This isn’t about being secretive, it’s about maintaining appropriate boundaries during a difficult process.
Think About Your Children’s Needs
If you have children, their emotional well-being should guide many of your decisions. Consider whether counseling might help them process the changes ahead. Many kids benefit from having a neutral person to talk with during their parents’ divorce.
Start thinking about practical parenting arrangements. What schedule would work best for the children’s activities and school commitments? How will you handle holidays and special events? Courts appreciate parents who can demonstrate they’ve considered their children’s specific needs rather than just fighting over equal time.
Avoid Common Early Mistakes
Don’t empty joint bank accounts or make large purchases without discussing it with your attorney first. Pennsylvania courts can order you to reimburse the marital estate for inappropriate spending, and it creates unnecessary conflict.
Resist the urge to move out of state with your children, even temporarily. This can become a violation of the state’s relocation law, and even expose you to criminal charges like interference with custody. It can also damage your credibility with the court. If you need to travel with your children, get written permission from your spouse or court approval.
Social media posts can become evidence in divorce proceedings. Avoid posting about your relationship, new romantic interests, or expensive purchases. Privacy settings don’t guarantee privacy in legal proceedings. Assume that your spouse (or their lawyer) sees everything you post.
Plan for the Emotional Journey Ahead
Divorce affects your emotional health, your children’s well-being, and your financial future. Consider working with a counselor or therapist who can help you process the changes ahead. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s practical preparation for a challenging process.
Some clients find support groups helpful, especially those specifically designed for people going through divorce. Connecting with others who understand what you’re experiencing can provide valuable perspective and coping strategies.
Moving Forward with Confidence
The first steps in any divorce feel overwhelming, but taking them thoughtfully sets the foundation for a better outcome. Focus on gathering information, protecting your interests, and making decisions based on facts rather than emotions.
The attorneys at The Law Offices of Dawn K. Gull understand that divorce represents one of life’s most challenging transitions. We’re here to help you understand your options and make informed decisions about your future. Contact us to discuss your specific situation and learn how we can guide you through this process with confidence and clarity.