Relationships are complicated. After people get divorced, they often look back and say they can't believe they missed all the signs and red flags. They should have known the relationship would never work. But, while they're in that relationship, it's very difficult to see these same signs.
Well, here are a few that you can spot even when you're dating, before the marriage. Some of them, naturally, last even after you tie the knot. Either way, they could mean that divorce is in your future:
1. You are not the first spouse.
Your spouse got married before you, and he or she got divorced. Maybe it happened multiple times. The reality is that people who get divorced have higher odds of splitting up if they get married again. It may not be your fault. Your spouse is just someone who tends to get divorced, and history repeats itself.
2. Things seem to move too quickly.
Experts warn that rushing into marriage could mean that a relationship will not last. You can't really know each other after a handful of dates. It takes time to know if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone. That's not to say you need to date for 10 years before marriage, but a lot of people who act like they want to get married instantly are just heading toward divorce.
3. They lied in an online profile.
There's nothing wrong with meeting people to date and possibly marry on the internet. It's 2019. However, you have to be honest with yourself and realize that someone who lies just to get that first date may not be someone you can last with for the long haul.
"Be wary if your date's online dating profiles turn out to be mostly fiction," warned one divorce expert. "It's not unusual for people to pump up their dating profiles a little bit in order to make themselves look good. But when you find out that a person's profile is so exaggerated that it borders on being made up — run! If someone isn't honest with you right from the beginning, they're not going to be honest with you ever."
4. They struggle with addictive behavior.
Addiction is a medical disorder, a disease. This isn't to come down on those who struggle with it, but you do have to be wary about dating someone who has an addiction to anything: drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. It can cause many problems, not the least of which are financial problems. These things can end a marriage.
When divorce comes
If you see these red flags in your own relationship and then divorce does arrive, make sure you know what legal rights you have and what steps to take.